I’m seeing a trend of articles on the web concerning self improvement. Take meditation for example. This is probably just a disparity of having the subject of meditation on the web, but from what I’ve seen, the information is equivalent to a Monty Python sketch where John Cleese explains how to play a flute: “Move your fingers up and down the holes and blow on this end…”
Content on the web is over-simplified. Since it is over-simplified, it should say so, that this is not a complete treatise. In that case, tell the reader: “for the best learning experience for meditation, take this class, or learn from this course…”
Of course, I’m very gratefull that there are sites with links to related information like yogawiz.com and their articles on Anger Management and Effects of Meditation. On there other hand there are articles like these on stress management that use buzz words, but they explain nothing to the reader about how to manage stress. Once again, this is an article based on a Monty Python sketch on how to play a flute, but it’s not funny.
What I like to do is ask a lot of questions to get my audience thinking about self improvement and to learn about my audience. What I’ve noticed is that people are more interested in expressing their opinions than asking or answering a lot of questions. So, I need to ask you something: Why don’t you like questions? Are you jaded by too many surveys? You only want to express your opinion in a certain way? Not enough time? What’s the problem?
Specifically, I’m having this problem with the survey for Way of the MindGate Subscribers. The questions are there specifically to help me understand their needs. I have asked them at every newsletter to please answer these few simple questions to help improve the quality of the newsletter. I believe it needs plenty of improvements, but So far, only 2 people have responded.
Perhaps, you can tell me what the problem is. Here are the questions as they relate to mind control:
- How do you feel about Mind Control?
- What about Mind Control is important to you?
- How would you describe Real Mind Control?
- How do you know if a Mind Control method is good?
Now, please tell me: Am I being too obtrusive by asking these questions? I want to get a general perspective of Way of the MindGate readers on “mind control,” so I can deliver the kind of information they expect to see.
Mind Control can go in one of two directions:
- Intrisically, towards your own self discipline or
- Extrinsically, towards the discipline of another person.
From my experience, most people instantly assume “extrinsic” because they instantly assume an MKULTRA or cult type conspiracy to impose one’s will upon another. This has nothing to do with self improvement, so I assume that most people are not interested in self improvement. Please tell me if I’m wrong.
There are very few people who think intrisically when they hear that buzz word, “mind control.” There are very few special people on this planet who think in terms of self discipline. That’s why we have so many “motivational” speakers like Anthony Robbins sitting high on the hog using the people’s hard earned money.
I have no idea if I’m referring to you when I say these things. That’s why I say “people” like those “people out there,” not you. Correct me if I’m wrong, but most people don’t think in terms of self control or self discipline – and they don’t want to. That’s why they pay people like Anthony Robbins, politicians, big screen movies, romance novels and other mainstream media to do their thinking for them. Am I wrong? Please tell me.
Let’s go back to one of those articles I mentioned for a moment like Anger Management. Let this article represent 95% of the articles out there in terms of self improvement. I see important aspects missing from this article. Do you see what’s missing?
The questions are missing. Do you know what questions are missing? The questions that help us understand mind patterns are missing.
What do I mean? You might ask. Let’s go back to the questions that I ask on mind control above:
- How do you feel about Mind Control?
- What about Mind Control is important to you?
- How would you describe Real Mind Control?
- How do you know if a Mind Control method is good?
The answer to each of these questions reveals the underlying mind patterns. The answer to question #1 reveals if a person is a pain avoider or pleasure seeker.
The answer to question #2 reveals if a person is more emotional or logical
The answer to question #3 reveals if a person is more detail oriented or a big picture visualizer.
The answer to question #4 reveals if a person is more of a follower or a leader.
These questions from the Keys to Power Persuasion Course by Alan Tutt help us reveal the personality dimensions of the person in question. People usually lean more in one direction or the other depending on if they are more right or left brained. Then there are a few people like me who lie smack dab in the middle with their responses; these are the people who need extra therapy.
At that anger management article or any self improvement article for that matter, we can easily turn those questions towards our advantage. The writer doesn’t have to know any specific mind patterns. We can simply ask ourselves important questions and answer them intrinsically in the form of neurolinguistic programming (NLP). For example:
- How do you feel about getting angry at your friends, family, or coworkers?
- What about your anger is important to you when you get angry at your friends, family, or coworkers?
- How would you describe your anger?
- How do you know if your anger is good?
Now, let me try to project myself into another person’s shoes for a moment. Who’s a famous angry person that we can both relate to? (I’m actually having to look this up on the web because I don’t keep track of angry people.) OK, it looks like there are plenty of angry celebrities, mostly getting mad at people they don’t know.
I’ll try to answer these questions like the average white collar corporate worker who gets mad at his friends, family, and coworkers. I’ve worked in corporate environments, so I’m in touch.
#1 – Well, that’s a silly question. I get angry, of course. I get angry at people who deserve it. I get angry at people who should know better. I get angry at my friends, family, and coworkers because they should be more responsible with their actions and more considerate of the people around them.
Do you understand this answer? I’m hoping that I covered the gamut of what someone might say in that position. This is a control issue. Strangely enough, the answer hovers towards pain avoider. He wants people to know better – like him. He wants people to be more responsible and more considerate – like him. But instead of trying to take control of his situation, he gets angry.
Intrisically, do we know how people react when we get angry with them. Of course we do. They want that person to stay away from us when we get angry and we know that. What’s the old saying? “Flys are more attracted to honey than vinegar?” That anger is vinegar and we know that full well.
We chase that pain away through our anger. Unfortunately, we also chase the person away who is attached to that pain. We end up alienating a friend, family member, or coworker.
Anger usually precipitates even more unwanted behavior, but away from the anger, your anger, wherein we can have gossip, breakups, runaways, and worse.
What do you want? To be closer to friend, family, or coworker who provides us with love, trust, friendship, and devotion or chase them away?
Since you get angry because the ones close to you lack control over their faculties, you can ask yourself, “how do I help that other person to know better? To be more considerate? To be more responsible?”
Then you can further ask yourself, “How do I know better? How is it that I’m more considerate? How am I more responsible?”
Since you are obviously better at self-discipline than the people close to you, you can ask yourself further, “How can the people close to me be more self-disciplined, like me? How do people usually learn self-discipline? How can I help the people around me to be self-disciplined?”
Do you see what I’ve done? I’ve set the stage for us to learn extrinsic mind control. In order to apply Keys to Power Persuasion, you have to be a pleasure seeker who’s willing to build that rapport with the people around you, so you can gain control over their lack of discipline, thus preventing your need for angry outbursts.
Keys to Power Persuasion is actually fun in that respect because you get to learn the personality dimensions, the mind patterns of the ones close to you, communicate with them on their terms, then give them subliminal commands on a subconscious level. Then they do what they’re told – no more reason for you to get angry. Of course, this all hinges on your alleged self-discipline.
Are you a people person? You are. Then you know that it’s fun to learn about people. To ask them questions and learn about them. That’s what I do. That’s why I do it.
Do you understand now that I seek important answers through my questions – that I’m not a dog barking for the sake of barking?
Self improvement has to be more than a simple set of commands that applies to everyone. This impossible because everyone is an individual with their own mind patterns. For this reason, self improvement is highly individual, therefore, we have to ask ourselves those questions that access our own mind patterns.
We learn about ourselves first. Then we learn about the people around us. Sometimes we forget ourselves because we’re trying to do the best for the ones close to us. But in disregarding our own mind patterns, our own feelings, we tend to forget the mind patterns and feelings of those around us.
We need to ask ourselves those frequently asked questions to learn about ourselves first, then comes the self improvement. Introspect. Learn about yourself. Help yourself Then you can help the ones closest to you.
Thanks for your time,
Randolph (HealingMindN)